What A Play Can Do
by The runt Duchess
Summary: What could have happened if House pressed for answers after Wilson was so obviously flustered when he mistakenly took something House said as a date? This is my imagination coming up with an alternate route to 'Act Your Age,' Season 3.


Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of this. If I did, would I *really*be here, writing fanfiction? think about it. ;)

Warnings: Spoilers for Act Your Age, Season 3. There is also a homosexual relationship in this fic, as well as descriptions that could be taken as crude.

This little blurb came to me after I watched the Episode titled 'Act Your Age' in Season 3. It happens after Wilson walks off embarrassed when House mocks him for thinking that mention of two tickets to a play meant a date with House.

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"Well, I...um...uh..."  
The door slams.

House turns back to his patient. He's in a room in the clinic, during the dreaded clinic hours. The patient, a tall, thin young man, looks back at him, having witnessed the whole thing. He raises his eyebrows. House states that he needs a urine sample.

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House is determinately walking down the aisle to Wilson's office. Once there, he barges in without knocking.

"What was *that* all about?" House asks.

Jumping from surprise at the sudden verbal attack, Wilson seems cornered. "What was what about?"

"You know what I mean."

"Um..."

House walks closer to Wilson's desk. He's in front of it now.

"Why did you automatically assume that just because I mentioned that I had two tickets to a play that I meant I was inviting you?"

Wilson looks around, as if looking for escape. House notices and starts walking around the desk.

"Why couldn't I have just been offering *both* tickets to you, for you to invite whom you pleased?"

He's almost in front of Wilson, who had stood when House first entered his office.

"Why did you seem dissappointed when I said that it was NOT a date?"

They are face to face now. House is looking down at Wilson, who seems to find his office unbearably hot, as he is pulling at his neckline and has a flushed face.

"Why are you nervous and upset now?"

"Well, you see...erm...uh...um...yeah. That's it. That's why. Now, I have a patient to see, so if you'll excuse me..."

He tries to go around House, who does not let him. In fact, he's now pushed against the desk, closed in.

"I want answers. And you do not have a patient to see."

"House..."

"Wilson..."

They both stare each other down. House's gaze is looking for answers, Wilson's eyes are pleading.

"Greg, please."

House hesitates. Then he moves away, grabs his cane, and walks out, saying "This isn't over yet."

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Next morning, House bumps into Cuddy. Looking at her face, he notices something different.

"How late were you out last night?" House

"I wasn't aware that I had a curfew. And stop changing the subject."

"Then why are you wearing extra concealer under your eyes?"

"I went to a play, alright?"

House pauses. "What play?"

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"You want to see Cuddy naked." Thus announced House his entrance to Wilson's office.

"What?" Wilson is bewildered.

"You only take to a play a person that you want to see naked. You took Cuddy. Therefore, you want to see her naked."

"I took her because she's my friend."

"A female friend."

"Yes."

"A female friend that you want to see naked."

"Can't a man and woman be friends without that getting in the way?"

House looks at him, then turns around and leaves.

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It is late, and House is in his office, reading a magazine. A moment later, a very flustered Wilson enters his office.

"I don't know what to do!!"

House looks up, raises his eyebrows. "About what?"

"The flowers! I don't know what to say! What should I say? Should I say anything at all? What did she mean by them? What do I do?!?!?!"

House is amused. He had sent flowers to Wilson earlier, under Cuddy's name, thanking him for the play and saying that he/she would like to do it again soon.

House then gives Wilson a series of non-answers, guiding him in one direction. Once Wilson decides that he is NOT going to say anything, just go into her office and kiss her, he seems to strenghten his resolve.

"I mean, what can happen? I either get a girlfriend or lose my job."

"Get a girlfriend? What, are we in eight grade now?"

"You know what I mean. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll do it. I'll just go over there now and do it." He gets up, walks to the door, and turns around, "yeah, that's what I'll do...I'll do it" He takes a deep breath, and walks out of the office before he looses his courage.

House stares after him, amused, before going back to his magazine.

Not 15 seconds later, Wilson barges back into House's office, raging. "You were going to let me DO THAT?!?! You were going to let me DO that?!?!?!" he looks at House, who seems to be trying not to laugh. "It was YOU! YOU sent those flowers!" a pause. "why?"

"You invited Cuddy to the play."

"Yeah, so? Now all I can do is think that I was going to kiss her!"

"I helped you discover that."

"YOU...yeah...yeah, you did." Wilson looks thoughtful.

"Do you really want to kiss her?" House enquires, trying to look only mildly interested.

"Yes" Wilson replies, seemingly looking off into space.

At this, House's head, previously bent down looking at his magazine, snaps up to stare at Wilson. "Really?"

Wilson turns to look at House. His eyes roam over House's face, over his forehead, cheeks, nose, lips, finally coming to rest on his eyes. He seems to look for something in there, before his face falls slightly. "No."

"Why not? She's got a great ass, nice, firm breasts...and a mouth that I'm quite sure could do more than just tell people off."

Wilson's face seems to fall just a little bit more. "Because I'm not interested."

"Oh, really? Who ARE you interested in? Cameron? That cute nurse in the ER?" House slowly gets up from his desk, grabbing his cane on the way. He starts walking around it.

"No, none of them, really." He hesitates a moment, then decides to go ahead "you should go for it. She already talks enough about you." He doesn't notice that House is steadily walking closer to him, hedging him into an out of sight corner.

"who does?"

"Cuddy."

"Why would I go for it? Go for what? That 50% raise I want?"

Wilson sighs "you know what I mean."

"No, actually, I don't."

At this, Wilson finally looks up from his thorough inspection of his shoes. He frowns slightly "Don't you like Cuddy?"

"Depends what way you mean."

"Romantically."

"No."

"Oh...but the way you described her..."

"The same way I could describe any female in this hospital. Cameron has a firm ass, and nice, round, high breasts. That nurse in the ER has some titties to die for. Anyone in particular you want me to describe?"

"B-but..."

"No, it's my turn now. What was that yesterday? Why were you so dissappointed it wasn't a date? Why did you seem in pain when I described Cuddy?"

Wilson finally takes note of the fact that he's been backed into a corner. He searches for an exit.

"No, no, no. My door is locked, and no one can see us here. They would think I've gone home, and you're off the clock by now. You're not leaving until I get some answers."

Wilson is flushed again, trying to find a way out of it. "Um, don't you want to go home?"

"No."

"...um...you see...I really, really, REALLY have to go home, because, you see, I left the neighbor cat sitting, and I promised to pick him up right after work..."

"You hate cats. Now answer me. What. Was. That. All. About?"

"Greg...please...please, don't do this..."

House looks at him. His face is bright red, his eyes looking everywhere that is not House, he's perspiring slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Look, I value you too much as a friend, please don't do this..." Upon saying this, Wilson finally brings his eyes to House's.

House studies him. His eyes seem hopeful, fearful, and full of pleading.

"James."

Wilson starts. House rarely calls him by his first name.

"James...is it me that you are interested in?"

Wilson's eyes widen, and his blush worsens. That seems to be enough of an answer to House.

House slowly brings his hand up toward's Wilson's face. He lightly runs his fingers over Wilson's cheek.

"G-G-Greg? W-what are you d-doing?"

House doesn't respond, instead cupping Wilson's face and tilting it up using his thumb on Wilson's jaw. He stares into Wilson's eyes, and finally says something.

"I've been waiting for 2 years." Then he bends down and presses his lips upon Wilson's. Wilson gasps, allowing House to push his tongue into his mouth, exploring the moist cavern. When Wilson finally unfreezes, he begins kissing House back, bringing his arms up to place them around his neck.

Unseen and unheard, Cameron stands at the door, staring, before she gives them a smile and quietly, locks the door and closes it. She then walks back to tell the others that House has gone home.


End file.
